When were we supposed to stop being smart women and dumb down our speech? When did knowing what your job entails, even in a volunteer situation, get to be an option, not the norm? I’ve always been under the apparently mistaken impression that any group is made stronger when everyone is able to share their outside expertise in different areas. I mean, if a legal question comes up, don’t you figure the lawyer might have the answer? If you’ve got a question about how the police might respond, wouldn’t you ask the officer sitting next to you? Do most women really believe that they’re all going to get along swimmingly at every gathering? When did being a part of a group mean that you’re supposed to dumb down your speech, not ask questions, not share experience in similar situations or your knowledge, and aren’t welcome to have an opinion if it differs with the opinions of those leading the group? Seriously, are we supposed to be teaching our daughters to eat it with a spoon and say “Yum, thank you, may I have some more?”
Can you guess why I’ve asked the above questions? I’m under attack. From the “mean mommies”. Fair warning: this is a vent post. Snide, belittling, nasty, and spiteful. If you don’t think that’s fair, I’m sorry. Since last week, I’ve dropped almost 10 lbs., gotten about 3 hours of sleep a night, and have contemplated buying that stock in Rolaids which should have gone up thanks to my many purchases. Having done nothing wrong, I’m not giving in to two bullies with such questionable ethics that they’ve jeopardized our whole group. As my dad said, he never taught me to back down from a fight, especially ones where I’m right (leave it to an Irishman to say that!).
What kills me is that, if I truly didn’t give a damn, I would have turned everything over and walked away, but that would have screwed everyone involved, including a few friends. And they don’t get it. No matter who talks to them and no matter how they talk to them, they don’t get it. And I won’t leave those friends who've dared to anger the sleeping snarling beasts by sticking up for me in their line of site.
I did very nonchalantly approach one of them after a meeting and asked what they needed to talk about. “Oh just next year and tieing up stuff this year,” was the response. A week later, smoke gets blown up my you-know-what when the same person calls with a great spiel about working together as a team, but then goes and does something that I’ve warned consistently puts our group in danger. I respond by email reminding folks that, if they’re holding a meeting, better that it be open, and they shouldn’t talk about things that need to be in front of the whole group. The response? We’re in charge and we’ll do want we want. I send another email, just pointing out that we all agreed at the start of the year not to act in this manner. Now I’m told that they’ll do what they damn well please and they’re tossing me out. I tell them to stop being abusive and I’m not stepping down. They say “yes, you are” and have the secret meeting anyway.
So at this point, I’m seeing them this weekend with others present, who’ve worked very hard to have us come together to “air our differences”. I had already asked another 3rd party to intervene (which miraculously was done), and the response to my request to just let us finish out the year was, “no, she’s confrontational and needs to leave”.
I’m confrontational. Then the complaint is that I speak too smart. I’m waiting to be told “uh, yeh, your words, they’re too big for our heads. Need to talk like four-year-old.” These biotchy bimbos! They can’t get it through their thick skulls that I have been doing nothing but keeping them from jumping off the cliff and taking us all with them. And why? Because I actually give a sH@#, whereas they could screw us all and walk away wondering why we didn’t thank them for it! They must be the most ignorant, self-absorbed, delusional women on the face of the planet. Let’s put it this way: Octo-Mom thinking she can handle 14 kids alone has more on the ball than these women!
The best part? Because they’ve been so lazy following up on details I mentioned at the start of the year, they really can’t get rid of me. I'm sure of it - I've done my research (that's why I haven't blogged in a while). I've looked at every law and procedure and even asked two former members of this group. They really can't. So, regardless of the outcome of this meeting, I’m going to our next General meeting. The one after that is when we’re supposed to elect new officers. If they let it happen. They didn’t last year; they just appointed themselves, much like little dictators. The even better part? If they don't hold elections, they'll be stuck with me again. Watch the news - there may be a local governmental overthrow!
So I don't feel like I'm the only one who's ever dealt with women like this, please share your experiences with "Mean Moms". Maybe it will be as cathartic for you as it is for me!