Feeling out of sorts today, and I'll apologize now for this being a LONG
post.
I’m not looking forward to tonight’s get-together with a bunch of moms to
plan our joint "camping" trip in July, and I need to vent beforehand
so I don't arrive on my broomstick. I'm using the term "camping"
loosely - we're at a campground but all the families rent out 36-foot trailer
homes with central air and indoor plumbing. As my husband says, after 15 years with his
company, he gets four weeks' vacation, and he’s not spending any of those days sleeping
on the ground.
This is the eighth summer my family’s gone “camping”. Meat and paper goods and s'more fixings are
bought in bulk and costs split, with two families in charge of each night's
dinner. In our heyday, 10-12 families were involved - in excess of 45 people,
or the size of a platoon. Add to the mix some families so dedicated to their
kids' sports, they actually drove the 2+ hours home some nights for games. There were also some families with three kids
who'd let each kid bring a friend while other families had only two kids and no
guests, so we came up with a way to calculate costs so everyone paid their fair
share. Trust me - it sounds more complicated than it is. It also helps that it’s
all written out - what the dinner menus are, who’s cooking what night, and
reminders of what to bring. Everyone
likes that it's written out, especially the dads – it’s like being on a cruise
ship and knowing ahead of time what your choices for the day are.
Every year before this deployment vacation, the moms get together and
review the details – that dinner needs to be at a certain time so those who
want can partake of the campground’s evening programs, who’s contributing what
(bringing a quikshade or small grill or shopping for the meat) so that it
wasn't all on one person's shoulders. After
all, it's a family vacation for ALL of us.
Until last year. Due to scheduling
and kids growing up, only my family and two others remain from the original
group. Two years ago, one of the other moms invited two other families to join
us, one so that her daughter finally had some girls to hang around with and the
other to occupy a second trailer she'd reserved. A third family who knew of our
trip also joined our ranks.
The first year, we paired them up with a veteran family and went easy on
them - my family handled one of the nights on our own as there was no one to
pair with. Thinking they'd gotten the hang of it, we planned last year's trip.
We should have realized the first year was somewhat thrown off kilter thanks to
the stomach bug going through our group (and most of the campground).
Regardless, the three new families "forgot" the items they were
supposed to bring, one mom made continuing snide comments about having to keep
to "my" schedule until one of the other moms reminded her she’d
agreed to the "group's" schedule. We also had two nights where people
who were supposed to cook dinner either got so wasted they couldn't or
"forgot" it was their night and disappeared. We won’t even discuss the two families with
toddlers who seemed to believe everyone else would watch their kids while they
went and played basketball, swam, and drank until they passed out.
I don’t need this. I don’t want to
spend my week of vacation being responsible for others. The simple solution would be to no longer go
to this campground this particular week.
But I can’t do that to my kids, who are friends with all these kids, or
to my husband, who enjoys the “Dad” time with the guys. I also don’t want to take away my time with
my friends. So tonight I’m going to this
meeting with a nervous pit in my stomach.
I’m going to remind everyone of last year’s issues, which no one else
will remember because, hey, they didn’t have to pick up the slack.
If you have any words of wisdom, I'd love to hear them! Otherwise, check back to see if I emerge unscathed.
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