Wednesday, October 28, 2009

The First Heartbreak

The Oldest was escorted to the car by two friends who informed me he'd just been dumped by the Girlfriend of two years. They've been best friends since first grade and have been “going out” since 6th. But how do you “go out” with someone you never go anywhere with?

When this “Girlfriend/Boyfriend” thing started, I asked a simple question of the Oldest: did they really like one another, or was it more of a “hey, if we say we’re ‘going out’, people will leave us alone”. He admitted it was that in the beginning, but they did like one another.

Personally, I like this young lady but I think the ages of 12, 13, and 14 are just too young to be “dating” in any form. Of course, when it comes to our kids, most of us think 15 through 20 is also too young! I also never saw her speak for herself. Her friends would tell the Oldest the Girlfriend expected him to ask her to the dance, would quiz him about what he was getting her for her birthday, and even were standing behind her when she told him they “needed take a break” because they were “at a standstill”.

I would like to believe that his actions last night spoke of the man he will be someday.  He sent her an email telling her he was sorry things didn’t work out, hoped they could still be friends, and asked why she ended it because that would make him feel a little better. Her response was that she still wanted to be friends but it was getting weird between them and she hoped he wasn’t mad at her.  He told me later he wasn't that upset and was sort of relieved; he'd been trying to figure out how to do the same thing without hurting her or ruining their friendship.  He was more bothered that she did it in public with an audience.

Coincidentally, the subject of his own Facebook page has been on the table for the past few months. With over 85% of his class having their own (yeah, I counted), and a number of family members around the country using it to keep in touch, he was told that if he made Honors or higher on the first report card, he'd be allowed to have his own page. Rules are: 
* I set it up;
* Hubby and I are his first friends;
* all relatives are friended first (and he needs to remember that when he posts);
* friends who use swears or post inappropriate material will be immediately defriended and blocked (he actually didn't ask certain people to friend him because of that rule);
* we retain the right to deactivate the account should the need arise.

And spelling counts!  I already corrected his spelling of officially (he spelled it offically).

In one hour, he was friended by 59 classmates, questioned by 56 of them why his status said “single”, and was asked out by two girls in his class who were apparently thrilled to know he’s available.

And this is the start of it? I don’t know if I’ll survive this year with him, let alone high school!


Tricia said...

Raising teenagers is by far, MUCH harder than when they were little. I have a 19, 17 and 10 year old. All boys. So the girlfriend thing is all new to us....It took me a long time to realize I was 'sharing' my sons- the two oldest. Add driving and it is so tricky.

Two Normal Moms said...

Oh my. My 9th grader just had his first real heartbreak on Friday. Ouch.
Love your blog. Gave you an award on our blog:

Anonymous said...

Oh no. I just cried a little for Oldest as I read this. Getting dumped in front of an audience is horrible. You have raised an amazing young man. What a mature way to handle the situation!

I'm with you. Why "go out" when you can't actually, you know, go out? But no one listens to me, least of all DQ.

The facebook thing gives me hives. We gave in on it, with all the conditions you imposed and the understanding that she has no expectation of privacy. I can and will check that page regularly.

PS, high school kind of rocks. I'm having a lot of fun. I promise.